Time To Reflect For A Minute

I know I was talking about what I had done to bring about a change of mind for me over the last little while. I’ll get back to that part in a bit.

But for now, I’d like to relay a story. Well, not so much a story but something that happened the other day to make me pause, shed a couple of tears and come to grips with the the fact none of us gets out of this life alive.

People die. Relationships end. We move on. It’s all part of the whole circle of life thing. I could go into the runic 5 stages of life: Death: Decay; Fertilization; Gestation and Rebirth.But maybe that’s best left for another day.

That then, is the way the Celtic runes view the cycle. And from my experience, pretty much everything can be put through that cycle. From actual life to the developement of an idea or a business or a relationship, IMHO.

What brought me to this point you might ask. Reviewing old teachings, looking at the fleeting thing we call life.

I came home to a message on my machine from my oldest and dearest friend. A man I consider my brother. Someone I’ve known and experienced life with for fourty years.

I was his best man at his wedding, I was there when his son was born. High school pranks and college life. We shared this and so much more over the years. The pain of loosing parents and dealing with dysfunction. More importantly, coming out the other end better people.

He’s that kind of friend. The one that you can lay your soul open to because they get you. They understand.

But also the one that you can laugh for hours on end with because you’re both in sync. Ideas some quickly, material forms and magic happens.

I grabbed the phone and heard his voice on the other end. A touch shaky, a little waver in the delivery. ” Hey, umm, I’m at the hospital in emerg. Ahh, well, I’ll call back. Ok, talk to you.” and then click, he was gone.

You can imagine I’m sure some of the thoughts that went through my head. I can’t think of a single good call coming from emergency at the hospital. The last time something like this happened it was my Mom and a heart attack.

So the automatic tendency for me is to think something terrible has happened. Then I thought, now wait a minute. It doesn’t necessarily mean something bad has happened. I thought of his Father-in-Law who had just recently gone through an operation and was having a rough go of it because along with the new hip, they had also sent him home with a new opiate addiction that he had to kick.

Had there been a car accident? Was his wife okay? What about his son? Maybe something had happened at that new school? Isn’t it incredible where your mind will go if you let it.

And then I screamed stop!

The only thing I really knew was that he had called from the hospital. All the rest was just vivid imagination and speculation. So let me see if he has his phone on and find out what’s happening.

I called. And called again. I went right to voicemail. Every time. Until I finally stopped and said ok, I guess it’s time to wait. Needless to say I spent a fitful night sleeping. Wondering.

Morning came and I let the first coffee set in before trying again to get a hold of him. First trying the cell phone. No answer. Then home. And his wife answered all calm and non chalanty. “Oh yea, he’s right here hang on.”

I stared at the phone in disbelief and relief all at the same time as my buddy came to answer it.

To say it was a relief to hear that he was at home and answering the phone would be an understatement. Though he certainly didn’t sound 100%, he was answering.

He’d been taken the day before from the nurses office at work in an ambulance to the emergency ward with his heart racing. And let’s face it, we’re on the other side of 50 so things like this are a bit of a concern.

Everything was apparently fine now and the doctors put him on some meds to keep things balanced for the time being till he could get to a cardiologist and see what’s going on inside.

We talked about what had happened for a few minutes. How it had started with little irregular beating and progressed to the point of going to see the inhouse nurse and doctor. Then the doctor calling for the ambulance.

Then he starts talking about what was going through his head. Not only in the nurses office, but in the hospital. Wondering if this was it. Had he done all he had wanted to in this life. What was important now. At this minute. And he made 2 calls.

And then we both gave that nervous guy laugh and he said, I love you like a brother man, you know that. That’s why I called. That was what was important at that time. That you knew that. That my wife and son knew that I loved them too. Really, that was all that mattered then, and I’m sorry for not phoning back earlier. I’m okay.

And as a tear rolled down my cheek and my throat tightened I joined him in saying how much he’d meant to me over the years as well. That we’d allowed life to get in the way of what really mattered. Putting off too many meetings and dinners thinking there were an infinite number of tomorrows. When in fact it could all be taken away, in a heart beat.

So, in those split moments in time a change happened inside for me. And outside. Spending all those hours researching and working all of a sudden meant very little. Having dinner with my friend and some laughs jumped to the front of the line.

That, and a phone call to a certain someone I’d had dinner with earlier in the week. Reconnecting after too many years. A phone call to tell her how much I had enjoyed our time together.

So ultimately I look at it all as a rewarding experience. Something that made us all see what really makes the difference in actually living. Really experiencing this thing we call life. And on that note a song comes to mind as I finish writing this out…….

P.S. I was going to embed Princes’ song, Let’s GO Crazy here, but apparently there’s some dispute going on over copyright. So I’ll respect that he doesn’t want his material put out through youtube.

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Paul