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Lessons In Vision

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It’s Friday. 48 hours ago I was laying on a table. People in brightly colored walkin in the light

surgery garb were scrambling and joking around me.

We joked, laughed and talked about medical marijuana.

I was in for my third, and in my mind last, cornea transplant.

One minute we were all laughing the next thing I was waking up in recovery. A patch over my left eye and a little bit groggy. Feeling like I’d been run over. Oh and I’ve been run over so I know what that feels like. That’s a story for another day.

It’s been seven years. Two spent coming to grips with the fact I may actually become blind, three going through different surgeries and healing.

You see it takes a full year to get all the stitches out after the transplant.

I’ve learned more about patience. About being extremely grateful for the ability to see. As a former professional photographer being able to see the world around me is important still.

Fact is I’ve gotten a lot out of this whole experience. The increased “spidey-sense” on my left side. It saves me from walking into walls, most of the time anyways. But the ability to work more with energy and work with what I have. To be able to bounce back from some imagined dilemma. One that I allowed to cripple me for a time.

Until I changed the way I was looking at the situation. I saw it as an ending when it was in actual fact a blessing. I moved on to a new career. The next step so to speak in this journey.

All in all, it’s been a great learning experience. It’s amazing to find out how much strength we have in these situations. The body being able to bounce back, the mind being able to reroute and change direction.

Like the saying goes, the mind is a terrible thing to waste, so by putting it to work so many thoughts actually do become things. I imagined myself in poverty and downtrodden and that’s exactly what happened. Tossed like a leaf in the wind.

When I changed my thoughts to ones of strength and vitality then that is what began to appear in my life. Don’t get me wrong here now cause I’m not thinking all day about love light happiness and all things new age. What I am doing is being aware of where my mind goes if I let it run wild.

I make a conscious effort in seeing what happens with a thought thread. Where is this going and stop it before it goes in a direction that is leading me in a downward spiral. Do you know the one I mean? So before that happens, I adjust and refocus on what I actually want to see in my life.

I laugh more at silly little things to lighten up and enjoy life. I look at a piece of pottery in my room and remember a wonderful vacation. I actually know and believe and see in my mind the way my life is changing. And every day something else happens to make it a reality. A phone call, a message, an invitation to share what I have learned along the way to help somebody else.

The phrase “It’s all good” has new meaning now. It’s all the way you choose to see it.

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Lighten Up

I’ve been quite bored of late. Not that I’m not busy with living or anything. More busy revamping, reorganizing the way I’ve been looking at the whole living experience.

How I fit in to the whole scheme of things, or maybe more to the point how I want to fit into it. Trying to do it just doesn’t seem to work out too well usually. Yet with all I have read over the last two decades we are all part and parcel of the same thing. Me joined to you you joined to me, to all the flowers an the bees. That kind of thing.

The one thing that does ring pretty loud these days is lighten up. Look at that now. We all hear it all the time. Oh come on, lighten up would ya. Time to lighten up isn’t it.

Have you ever really given it much thought? Afteral, it’s just a couple of words strung together to mean…what?

There’s lighten. It’s an adjective right. To lighten your load, to drop some stuff on the side of the road so you can carry on a bit easier. To feel lighter. To add more light to a room or place so you can see better. Not as full. To laugh a bit and break up the density of the moment when it becomes a little tense.

Then there’s up. Pretty obvious one here. Opposite of down, to raise. Movin on up, to the east side. To increase.

So maybe by getting rid of the crap in the suitcase the ability to be clearer, more full of joy and actually living your life, maybe that’s the way to go.

So lighten up would ya. Get to the real job here. Living your life.

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Not so Lazy Monday

I haven’t really put anything together for this post. As usual, my mind is wandering. Not that I’ve been distracted by too many voices or shiny things on the road, more just readjusting life things.

I’ve been hit with the paradox stick again. Too much of being in the head and over analyzing I xpect.

Though usually some interesting bits come from it I’ll take a day to grok it all and cooe back to you with that.

So for today, it’s share a pic day. I love going through Deviant Art. So many amazing and incredible pieces. I could get lost there for more time than I care to admit.

Hope you enjoy.

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Back In The Saddle

Wow, it’s been over a month since I’ve blogged. Anywhere. Now back in the saddle again and I feel great. Strange how you miss these little excursions into writing.

After going through moving to three different hosts to find one that will fit my needs, this time I found a home for awhile. At least the next few months. I don’t want to have to go through this again for a bit.

There’s been so much going on getting prepped for surgery next month.  A real statement for  me anyway, about mindset. I won’t write about that right now, suffice it to say I’ll be ready after tomorrow.

That’s it for right now. I’ll get back to some realer  ( is that even a word ) writing tomorrow after my journey to the city. For now it’s just good to be back up and running writing.

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Checking In, Not Out


I wasn’t sure what to title this post. Likely I should think and repost afterwards.

Here’s the story.

Two days ago, a man I have come to call friend and mentor had a bit of a slip. It could’ve been fatal. It wasn’t. Thankfully. His names Pat O’Bryan an he’s a pretty special character.

While on vacation at his country place in Texas, he kinda slipped up.

Out in the desert away from everyone he decided to try out his new pistol. Looking for snakes to hunt and not finding any he decided to use an old board as a target.

The first shot was good and after it he let the pistol come down. The only problem with that was he forgot to take his finger off the trigger and ended up clicking off another round. The bad part about this is it went through him.

Through his thigh. Two holes. One in, one out. Along with that I’m pretty sure there was some blood loss happening. He didn’t elaborate on that much. Just going on personal experience there. He made it to his truck and fortunately a first aid kit. Then to the hospital.

What is strange about the whole thing is he twittered what was happening. Not long after he had done this he sent a twitter and it popped up on my computer screen.

My first thought being, damn something bad had happened and the next auto response to that was to start to worry. Then, all this happening in the blink of an eye in my mind, no , send good vibes not worry. Chances are fairly good that he needs that more.

Well, he’s okay. He’s home. Resting and going over a lot of things right now. The lesson to be taken away from the situation, how he’s got horseshoes up his butt, and why he’s still here.

When something like this happens it is on a level life altering. I speak from my own near death experience. Though it was from moving on a self destructive path, the results could have been the same. Death.

Afterwards there are always a lot of questions. The why me? what do I do now? What really really is important to me? who have I not told I love? So many, many more things go through your mind.

In the blink of an eye, everyone you care about comes to you. In the blink of an eye you see everything and question it all. In the blink of an eye it can all be over. No time for regrets or shoulda coulda moments.

I guess what I’m saying here is the lesson I learned from my experience, well one anyways, was that what matters most is being aware and experiencing and appreciating every little thing that comes in and goes through your life.

Take nothing for granted. Because in the blink of an eye, everything can change. I’ll expand on this further in another post. But for now. I had to get this out of my head and down where I can see it , where I can share it.

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Awareness, A Simple Secret

I don’t know about you, but my friends and I have discussions on awareness all the time. Though it’s something that kinda slips off the rails for even the most spiritual of us.

Let’s face it being aware or even starting on the path of awareness is work. Something that most of us are reluctant to do.

The fact of the matter is it’s like anything else. With practice it becomes second nature. Yes you may veer off but the simple fact that it has become a habit brings you back on track relatively quickly.

Maxwell Maltz has a great book on this. It’s called Psycho-Cybernetics. He explains how the mind is capable of keeping us on track. If you haven’t read it check it out.

A couple of years ago I was living in the middle of 200 acres of corn. Just me and my dog, Key-ra. She’s a Rottweiller- Sheppard cross and just a bundle of energy. So the farm was good for both of us. Lots of space for her to run around and lots of forest for us both to wander through.

I had to get out of the city to get clear. It really had just become far too dangerous to my health and my well beng. I’d gotten way to far off track and out of balance.

Anyway, one of our daily rituals was the mail run.

This was a typical old farm. Built in 1895 and still standing. Damn there was even a well in the basement. Along with all the wonder of this place came a third of a mile driveway. Hell in the winter but incredible after the snow was gone. The drifts in the drive got up to four and a half feet one winter. Good thing there was a neighbor with a tractor and a plow.

The sides of this driveway were lined with Maples and a few Oak trees. A real splendor to see at the height of the summer and even more so in the Canadian fall with all the colours.

So key-ra and I and the five adopted cats ( someone dropped them off at the barn one day while I was in town, more on them later) would get together for a walk to the mailbox. She’d come put her head in my lap while I was working at my desk, look up at me and tell me it was time to get the mail. Everyday around one o’clock. Very funny and quite endearing. I’ll put up some pictures soon.

We’d walk out of the house and even before the door was closed the other five moembers of our group of seven would emerge from the barn. The big orange male first, DB, followed by the rest of his crew. Bounding out through the barn door and under the fence. Usually in order and all ready for a jaunt, no matter what the weather.

We must have been quite a sight. The cats running between my legs and the dogs. Key-ra thinking she was just a big cat and the cats looking petrified as she tried to play with them. She is and was a little big for them to handle, though she never hurt the cats, it was a bit rough for them sometimes. Key-ra running at breakneck speed around them wanting them to play.

Starting off past the big yellow shed we’d head up the drive for the mail. And everyday without fail, I would stand there and look down the drive in awe. The trees on both sides stretching across to clasp branches to create a canopy over the driveway. The different shades of green and brown.It was simply amazing. Something right out of a storybook.

Some of these trees must have been fourty feet high. I have no idea how old. I can only imagine, because the oaks were the same height. I can close my eyes right now and see this scene and it brings a calm and a smile any time I think about it.This was one of the most redeeming qualities of the old farm.

While we walked to the end of the drive through the trees the wind would blow and the smell of the forest came through. After a storm there would be the pungent smell of the damp forest from the east come through.On a hot humid summer day you could almost smell the dust, the fragrances were so different.

The sun would touch us through the branches and leaves as we moved closer to our destination. And like the sparkles on a lake or the stars in the sky it flashed in and out as we walked. A cat on either side of me, one winding itself through my legs doing it’s best to trip me, then look up at me as if I had done something wrong when I stopped to keep from trampling it.Typical cat fashion. This was our daily game. Then it would do the cat hop and run ahead to torment the dog for awhile.

The driveway forest stretching up on either side was , well ,it was comforting. The sound of the leaves rustling and the branches rubbing together , the wind whistling through them. The crunch of the gravel under my feet as I walked. That’s what I heard.

What I felt, after a few months there was my peace return. My well being and ,my balance. My awareness was again on track. My sense of self.

I’m sitting here writing, well rewriting actually, and I close my eyes and can see it all and go there now in my mind. An instant feeling of well being. Aware of the interaction of everything that happened. The animals, the plants, the earth everything coming together as one. The giant Maples and Oaks doing their part as well. And on the days it rained they were our umbrella.

That is how I got my awareness back. My balance. The same way you can either get yours back or start to find it.

Take a walk. You walk right? While you are on your walk pay attention to your surroundings. The trees along the side of the road in an area. The houses, their colour and structure. As much as you can take in. What you see, hear, smell, sense. Use it all.

Are there plants around that house? Trees? How many cars are in the driveway. Someone cooking?Do your best to take in your total surroundings and put them in your memory bank. Colours, sounds, people, shapes. Go small at first, or at least push it to your limit. Fill yourself with the experience.

At some point you’ll get to where you are turning around and coming back. The halfway point. It’s inevitable. Like we got to our mailbox, you’ll get to yours.

When you get to the halfway point close your eyes and see in your minds eye what you have just experienced. Take out your mind paintbrush and start to paint a mental picture as you have just seen it.

Take a few minutes, turn around and become aware of the return journey and see how you did. Let’s face it for most of us there will be a big discrepancy. The good part is the more you do this the more entrained your brain/mind will become and your awareness of what surrounds you will grow. Building new brain cells all the while.

This is something you can do every day. As a matter of fact once you start on this little exercise, make it a game if you have to, it just keeps getting better. Clearer. Whatever it takes so that everyday you do this at least once for a period of fifteen to twenty minutes. Along with building brain cells, you can get some exercise, so it truly is a win win thing. There is no loss here.

Do this for 21 days and you will develop a new habit Awareness. From here we’ll expand it to the next level.

What is the purpose of all this and the whole awareness thing? Well it wakes you up people. Get out of the robot mode that most of us get stuck and and be alive for a change. To be able to totally experience all there is to offer here on this little blue marble.

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Binaural Beats Provide Mainstream Solutions


Have you ever felt mesmerized by the pulse of a light or the rhythm of a beat? Binaural beats are used with both visual and audio mechanisms where people are employing this as a method of achieving certain desired results.

They may use binaural beats to help put them to sleep if insomnia is an issue in their lives. Or it could provide a solution for those who want to enhance their learning capabilities.

Some of the binaural products on the market combine the use of light and sound, while others boast the use of a single element to get the same reaction. Consumers are snapping up products that provide binaural beats – including CDs and electronic technology.

Your brain falls in sync with the electronic beat and various frequencies used and then, depending on how you’re using it, you could potentially get sleepy, discover that you’re able to tap into your creativity, or retain information longer and easier.

If you invest in a product that uses binaural beats, it won’t just be a flashing light and drum-like beat. They’ve masked the sensation with sounds that soothe you, such as rain or bells. These sounds mask the undercurrent of the binaural beat so that you aren’t distracted by it.

Some companies even sell products that let you make your own binaural beats. These gadgets run from a few dollars to thousands – depending on how high-tech you want to go.

When you’re using binaural beats, it isn’t like you go into a hypnotic state of mind where you’re not in control of yourself. Instead, you’re relaxed and alert at the same time. You may feel a bit heady but not to the point of intoxication. Binaural beats are safe for repeated use – you’re not going to get addicted to it or become dependent on it for sleep or other issues.

 

Along these lines, my friend Pat O’Bryan and Dr. Joe Vitale have put together a pretty awesome binaural beat CD. It’s called The Clearing Audio .

I’ve experienced some very impressive, yet subtle results after a few days of using it. I feel lighter and have found the tune playing in my head even when I don’t have the headphones on. My productivity is up and, well there is just an all around feeling of well being after listening to it.

Go see what people are saying about The Clearing Audio 

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Just a Moment in Time

A quick one today. Something that always gets my feeling part moving….. Getting into the feeling of joy and then painting an image around it. I use this sometimes to start it.

Every time I see her face,
I feel peace and joy inside.
Her eyes they shine,
And her face is aglow,
With the simple joy of life.

A gift from above,
So shiny and new,
This child of yours and mine.
She laughs and gives love,
Without a care
No tethers to bind her,
So open and aware.

 

The love I feel when she’s by my side,
Is like a warm, soothing, summers night.
So grateful I am for this gift you bore,
And brought down into our lives.

 

How can I ever say or express,
The total expanse of my joy,
At this tiny bundle of life,
A truly shared blessing
For us both, we two.
Is here now before our eyes.

 

So whole and complete,
With no cares in the world.
She glows like the sun, moon and stars.
What has she brought for us to see.
What once was two
Has now become three.

 

Every time I see her face,
I feel total peace inside.
Share with me this union.
This piece of you and I.

 

The eyes, the smile.
The complete look of joy.
She lightens the heart
And brightens our world.

 

Whatever may come,
Whatever may be.
This vision of love,
I will always see.

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Spirit Moves

Well the moving is over. Along with the move, came a few revelations. Not only how we hold on to what no longer works for us but actually how compfortable we/I become with it.

All the wotk at clearing out the old beliefs, the healoling that followed and the implanting of new ones. Coming out the other end is pretty refreshing. More spring in your step, a cheerier attitude and just the oveall feeling of well being returned after that old clogged energy was released.

During the whole packing, throwing out, moving process I came accross more than a few revelations. For me at least. I’m not sure if you experience the same thing, but from my experience, most of us stay in the same place for years.

If you move a lot, chances are good that you come across the same things.

I had packed a lot of boxes one day and moved them to the garage for easier lading etc. While looking at the pile that was starting to build there I thought to myself, wow, there’s my life in all those boxes.

In the back of my mind there rose a laugh, which grew to me laughing outloud in the garage and  what I was hearing was, You’re serious right? You actually think those boxes of things are your life. How funny is that!

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hear voices in that way. But I do hear that little voice that comes to all of us at times.

It actually removed the feelings of melancholy that were starting to form with the fact I was moving. It really lightened up the experience. And made me realize, it’s all just stuff, it can be replaced and my spirit was still strong.

The universe came into play and everything was falling into place in less than 24 hours. The move was coming off without a hitch. The 5 days I spent waiting to get the phone and hardline put in for my internet was a bit of a challenge, but it also allowed me the time to assimilate the new beliefs and prepare for the next step.

All in all, moving was a great experience.

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Clearing Limiting Beliefs

I’ve been getting ready to move the last couple of weeks. Some things have come up during the course of this that have caused me to ponder at times.

A lot of what has been surfacing is about limiting beliefs. The ones I have carried with me for years actually. Some I have managed to heal and release. With the help of my friend Amanda.

I don’t know about you, but I hear about the same things from a lot of friends during our talks. How they say they are going through something and what usually follows is some dreadful explanation of what they have chosen to be experiencing at the time.

The thing is weeks or days later they are still “going through” the same event. I had to ask myself, do we really go through these events or do we just keep ourselves in that state. I believe most of us keep in that state till it actually, and sadly, becomes comfortable. All the limiting beliefs that we build for ourselves throughout our lives. They are usually the reason that we hold ourselves back from truly being able to experience true living.

They become almost like an old friend, and we wonder why we can’t move forward in life. That is until you meet someone that can help you heal these old beliefs and finally release them.

We have all experienced them to some extent. Some of us more than others. The feelings that limit us. Cause that wrenching gut tearing sensation and ignite the fight or fight mechanism in us.

Amanda Goldston has developed a method to help you reveal these beliefs and get them to a point where you can heal the, release them and move forward to be able to once again experience fully, the joy of actually living your life.

I was reminded of a story this morning during a phone cnversation with a freiend of mine. One that I’d heard years ago that always seems to pop up during these times of healing and releasing. It wasn’t until today that I actually connected the two events.

Seems there was a minister who was preparing for his Sunday sermon. Sitting at his desk in his study he was drawing a blank. He had no idea what he was going to talk about.

It was then that his young son came into the room, bouncing a ball. This of course began to distract the minister. Now he had this to deal with as well as his frutration at not being able to write his sermon.

He reached over to a magazine in the rack beside him and opened it to an ad. The ad was a picture of a man in the midst of a golf game. He tore out the picture and then proceeded to tear it into puzzle sized pieces.

He explaind to his son that he was in the middle of writing a sermon for Sunday and asked him to take the puzzle and put it back together and discover what the picture was.

The eager child grabbed at the chance and took the torn picture to the other room to find out what the picture was. The minister breathed a sigh of relief and went back to his sermon writing, knowing the boy would be gone for a long time and he could complete his sermon.

Not ten minutes had gone by and the child came racing back into the room. His puzzle done and a great big smile of accomplishment on his face.

The minister was stunned. He looked at his son and congratulated him on a job well done. Then he looked at him and said, “How was it that you finished so quickly?”

“Well father”, the boy replied,” I found a picture of the world on the other side so all I had to do was make the world right and then I knew the man would be right.”

The minister picked his son up in his arms, gave him a hug and a kiss, and said thank you. He now had his sermon for Sunday.

So as I move through the process of clearing out the old, packing and preparing to load my moving truck. I know now that some, not all, of my limiting beliefs have been healed and released. Most of all, I can move forward again knowing that I’ve healed and released some of the old beliefs that I’ve carried around for too long. And it feels great.

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